Originally "posted" May 21

Of Explosions, Frustrations, and Midnight Driving in Juba

Dear All,

Since last you heard, things have been going well in Juba. Exciting it certainly has been. This past Friday, an ammunition dump about 4-5km from “my” camp exploded. Apparently the Northerners, to whom the munitions originally belonged, don’t exactly observe UN or NATO standards for safe storage of explosives and propellants. Basically there were just piles of aging 105 and 155mm artillery shells, mortar rounds, small arms ammo, etc. just lying around on a field… In the middle of this field some truly enlightened individual decided to build his mud hut….and throw a house warming(Ok, I admit I can’t confirm or deny the housewarming bit), complete with roast goat. And where did he light his cooking fire? That’s right, in the dry grass between the piles of unexploded ordinance.
End result: the town was shaken by about 5 large blasts (windows rattled at my compound), and a number of secondary explosions. Some of the rounds cooked of and fell in the nile and around the accommodation compounds there. Thankfully, my compound is located in the opposite direction and was completely safe. Naturally, the SPLA(former southern rebels, now army of New Sudan) boys went into war mode immediately, automatic weapons appearing as if from nowhere. Within minutes, every military position in Juba was manned. Thankfully nothing happened. For the first hour or so, the feeling was pretty tense as there are a lot of the SPLA troops and officers who are just itching for a reason to wipe out the remaining northerners and, while they’re at it, probably replace a few ministers. Thankfully, casualties were light. One truly unfortunate Russian helicopterpilot lost hos foot, when a stray artillery round came down at the airfield north of town (the river is south of town, the airfield north, the ammo dump just on the western edge of town). A couple of unfortunate SAF(Sudanese Armed Forces – northern troops, there are still some around for various reasons) were beaten to death by all accounts, by SPLA troops, for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. And there are probably several hundred new UXO’s (UneXploded Ordinance) spread around the greater Juba area, so there may be casualties yet to come. I am crossing my fingers and preying the UN Mine Action boys to do their job before some kids decided to make a toy out of a live mortar round. Friday was an illustration and reminder to us foreign nationals on the ground that all is not well in Juba The tension is very much there, just under the surface. One journalist I spoke to, used the word tinderbox. Thankfully, if it all goes to hell, there are several things going for my safe return to the world:

1: If it goes pearshaped, they won’t be coming for the expats, they be busy killing each other. So with a little staying on your toes, the 5 minute drive to the airport shouldn’t be a problem.

2: One of the people I have befriended at the camp I live in, is the norwegian Air Operations Manager at the UN airfield. So I pretty much set for a seat on the first plane the hell out of dodge.

3: Another one of the Scandinavians here runs the local security company, so he’s got a city wide radio net, that’ll keep me well informed, should it be necessary.

So there was some excitement, I am fine, everything is copacetic. If you were contemplating being to think about considering allowing worry to enter into your current frame of mind, don’t. Should anything happen I’ll be out of here so fast it’ll make your collective heads spin. Until then, I’m fine.

So on to something equally indicative to Africa, but far more boring: pointless delays. I have nine pick-ups coming into Juba from Uganda, for a Chinese construction company who is going to be doing a great deal of roadworks in the coming months/years. They were supposed to be here 2 weeks ago. First there were delays in Uganda. That’s fine. I’ll live. Ugandans are busy people I’m sure, and my vehicles have to wait in line like everybody else. Whatever. Then the vehicles got to the Sudanese customs office in Yei. Now, in order for us to bring in vehicles for our customers, those customers must have a letter exempting them of taxes and duties, from the Ministry of Finance and Economic Planing (Yes, that’s how the letterhead spells it. Don’t even get me started…). The letter has to be signed, stamped etc. Now, the guys in Yei are southern customs officers, while the boys in Juba are northern customs. We know this, and use Yei, because the southerners are more interested in goods coming into help the development of southern sudan than the northerners are. What we hadn’t counted on, was the level of pettiness they all have in common. So this Chinese company has the right letter, with the right stamps, signatures, etc… But at the top of letter, it’s addressed to Customs Juba, not Customs Yei. That’s why my nine pickups have been stuck for week!!! I was sorely tempted to just cross out Juba and write Yei by hand, but was advised not to, as they apparently don’t have a lot of nuance in their criminal punishment system yet.

Anyway, we have our guys working on the situation, and hope to have it resolved by the beginning of this week.

Now for something more fun. Last night, after the Hash run, we had dinner at the local USAID compound. Those of you reading this in the states will be happy to know your tax dollars are being put to really good use down here. The dinner was amazing, and the compound, which is still under construction, makes me want to work abroad for the State Department or USAID. So anyway, after having drunk all the redwine on offer there we were persuaded to go barhopping in Juba. Barhopping indeed you might think. But consider for a minute exactly what else there is to do in a place like Juba, and if you an entrepreneurial bone in your body you quickly realize that there is a solid business case to be found in getting aid and development workers hammered on a Saturday night at the end of the world. So off we went. First to a party at the UN compound. Apparently a bunch of the camp managers were leaving, so there was a party. I’m not entirely certain how I would take that if I were one of those managers, but hey, that’s their problem. From there we went on a ride through the back streets of Juba to our next destination, some dive of a camp down by the river. The destination was far less memorable than the journey, though. Except, maybe, for the moon coming up behind the Mango trees and over the Nile. That was pretty memorable. Anyway, we return to our hero as he tries to keep up with two UN vehicles, bit Toyota Landcruiser SUV’s, as they howl through Juba. You may recall I mentioned The Paved Road in my first e-mail. There’s just the one and it is rapidly becoming more pothole than road. And we’re talking potholes that’ll swallow a Buick, here. I’ve gotten used to traveling at about 35-45 km/h here. And those of you who know me best, know that to be departure from my typical driving demeanor.

The guys I was following were doing between 65 and 80. Those of you of a more rural bent, may be familiar with pickup trucks. The main difference in dynamics between a pickup and an SUV is the weight distribution. An SUV typically has about 60 percent of the weight up front, 40 at the rear, forcing the backend to be kept on the road through bumps. A pickup with nothing on the bed has a distribution of maybe 78 to 22. So plainly put, the rear end gets really bouncy at speed. Like, leave the ground bouncy. Not ideal when the rears are also the driven wheels, and you’re trying to keep up with a lunatic doing 60 down a dirt track. Let’s say we arrived how Bond likes his Martini; shaken…

These were the three stories of the week, and with them I shall leave you. Attached is a picture taken by an acquaintance who was down by the Nile then the ammodump went up. Quite spectacular, I am sure you agree.

That’s all for now. Until next time, take care.

Reporting live from Juba, in the Southern Sudan, I’m JubaJoe